Pick up after your canine friends, you poop heads

BY RICHARD JOHNSON

 In the infamous words of Ol Dirty Bastard, “But pardon me, bitch, as I shit on your grass.” 

And just like the title of the Wu Tang song, Cheyenne is covered in dog crap.

As the weather improves, it’s nice to get out and walk the city park trails and bike the Greenway. 

At least that’s what I thought.

While listening to Lil Nas X along a path, I noticed all the dog excrement.

Dog walkers on the Greenway need to pick up after Fido.

And I thought, “Man, Cheyenne truly has pride in itself and its tightly coiled land mines.”

At least the city is doing something, right? 

Oh yeah, the replacement of those Greenway baggies is $1,000 an order. So, don’t expect to see them refilled as needed. 

So why the hell aren’t these responsible pet owners saving their own plastic bags from all of Cheyenne's Big Box stores? They must not be buying local. I can tell by the litter I pick up, or lack thereof.

Then there is this unenforced ordinance. 

If a dog craps in the park and no one sees it, did it happen?

6.08.140 - Animal wastes.

A. A person owning, keeping, possessing or harboring any animal must remove and dispose of, in a prompt and sanitary manner, feces left by the animal on any public property or any private property not owned or lawfully occupied by such person.

B. An animal owner is responsible for keeping his or her property free and clear of animal waste to prevent potential harm to the public health, as determined by the city/county health officer, or his or her designee. If a determination is made that a potentially dangerous situation to the public's health exists, a notice of violation may be issued.

C. This section does not apply to persons utilizing a seeing-eye dog or to persons physically handicapped to such a degree that they are incapable of compliance.

D. This section does not apply to owners of animals participating in events for which a permit has been issued by the city clerk.

Why should the community worry about dilapidated houses, slum lords and demolition by neglect while Rover and his owner leave us hidden gems?

Maybe the mayor can contact a Pokémon trainer to see if a power up option is available using all the found dog feces. Hell, if the “Fight the Blight” campaign was effective, who will run on “Dog Turd 2020” campaign?

You may think this is a shitty topic, but you know I don’t take this crap lightly. 

The only thing more manure filled than our parks is our elected officials. 

I hope you doo-doo heads decide to start picking up after your best friend. 

I gotta scat.

Richard Johnson is a former City Council member from Ward 3.