Without a member from the South Triad, the LCSD1 board will never truly represent south Cheyenne

BY GABRIEL PIÑA

         Back in August of 2014, I attended a meeting of the Laramie County No. 1 Board of Trustees and spoke about an issue regarding child enrollment. At the end of that meeting, two principals approached me and asked me to consider running for a board seat as there was no representation for the South Triad and they felt they don’t have a voice.
         Fast forward to 2020, and I’m still getting asked to run for the school board as we still don’t have someone from the South Triad on the board.
         The following expert opinion is from an LCSD1 employee who wishes to not be named:
“Trying to be

South High is the high school in the South Triad

professional while writing this is really hard considering all the shady things that happened during the school board meeting on April 6. This was simply supposed to be a meeting for approval of a 45-day public comment period, time for the public to speak. (Note: the discussion was about whether to go to individual triad representation on the board with at-large members.)
         “The majority of the school board trustees not being willing to open this up for public comment defies what they represent as ‘trustees.’ (Trustee) Nate Breen, along with others, is correct in saying that they will ultimately get the final decision as trustees (voted in by the people to represent the people is democratic). However, the discrimination and unexpected suppression that was displayed during the short 43-minute debate was disappointing, but not surprising!
         “It is obvious there was a hidden agenda for the amended suggestion to be restored to status quo, in addition to the animosity and division already present within the school board trustees. As I play many roles within the south Cheyenne community, we were silenced — yet again.
         “It was expressed over and over, specifically by Trustee Lynn Story-Huyler, that there has not been a discussion on the proposal. But it was also brought up that it has been a hot topic for over a year. I suppose I can assume this particular topic has not been a priority of the school board trustees.
         “I also question the significance of the 45-day review serving two purposes: setting the allowable time for trustees to discuss; and to hear the voices of the public as desired by a trustee that had not been at the subcommittee meetings.
         “The unwelcoming tone of the conversation showed the true colors of the unwillingness to have diversity on the school board. The conversation lacked acknowledgement of the marginalized south Cheyenne emails that have flooded trustees’ inboxes, not to mention the educator survey that supported the change and the presence and time of passionate community members bravely standing in front of the subcommittee.
         “There were so many distractions in the conversation. One, that Trustee Marguerite Herman tried redirecting, was the questioning of how this would all ‘affect the election system’ and if discussion with county clerk was had been had. (Come on! It was explained several times that the board had two years until this was implemented to get things changed.) Another distraction was COVID-19 (simply an excuse).
         “Two specific board members spoke in regards to the south side, Mr. Breen and Ms. Story-Huylar.  Mr. Breen tried to sympathize by comparing the south situation to his living on the west side of town, but he displayed discrimination too.
         “He humbly admitted to that ‘attitude,’ given that while living on the west side is a sugar-coated example that does not compare to the judgment, racial name-calling and assumptions placed on south Cheyenne families who live in poverty and attend school there.
         “Ms. Story-Huylar sympathized with children and staff at Arp Elementary School, stating, ‘My heart is with the south side of town.’ But she failed to provide any compassionate example besides feeling sorry for ‘them.’
         “Thank you, Trustee Tim Bolin, for advocating for what would have helped our district began steps to diversify and truly represent our school community. I really hope that the words of the trustees who admitted there needs to be a change in how we listen to community members, are followed through (because this would have been a good first step.)
         “I heard the need of urgency. I apologize on behalf of your fellow trustees because they should be ashamed of themselves for blindsiding you and our community by making the final vote on April 6.”
         Out of the blue, I’m being asked to give an interview with the local newspaper about the April 6 vote and then asked to give an interview with KGWN regarding the same subject.  I agreed to both and was given a few sentences in both published articles.
         What wasn’t printed was: Why would a current trustee give up their seat just so someone on the South Triad could get voted in? They worked hard for that seat, even though it is not a paid position; they want that status.
         The South Triad just doesn’t feel like it has someone who they can go to and express their concerns, complaints or praises. It’s not that we don’t feel the current board is approachable; it’s we don’t feel they can relate to our situations.
         During the April 20 meeting, a petition was submitted to the Board of Trustees asking it to reconsider the April 6 vote and give the people of Laramie County 45 days to discuss this issue.
         We had 13 people speak up at a Zoom meeting and give their reasons for why the South Triad deserves a voice on the board. Many people spoke about some racial issues, eco-social issues and how the current board would never be able to relate to someone who lives in south Cheyenne.
         Now to be perfectly clear, we are asking the board to amend the 2020 elections for the LCSD1 Board of Trustees to include one representative each from all three triads — Central, East and South —with voting only being counted in the triad boundaries (like the Cheyenne City council wards) and the 2022 election would have four seats at large.
         I find it interesting that Mr. Breen is on the State Board of Education, made up of 14 members, 11 of  being appointed by the governor and each member “representing” either one of seven districts in the state or a particular segment of the school system. For example, Mr. Breen represents local school boards. I guess it’s OK to have a “representative” when it’s appointed but not when it’s elected.
         Well the board heard, voted and turned us down; one member calling it a “token” seat. But Mr. Breen turned around and said he was shocked to hear about the racial issues and voted to investigate those claims.
         I’m sorry, but if you were really tuned to the South Triad you would have known about these issues as they have been happening for years. This is how out of touch our board is with the South Triad.
         Sure during election years they may go to the schools and read to the students during Dr. Seuss day or go have lunch with some of the kids. I’ll let the Wyoming Tribune Eagle say what I want to say in its April 19 editorial:
         “He (Breen) knows the current board is made up of mostly well-to-do people with deep connections in the community. What’s wrong with that, you ask? Nothing, on the surface. But when none of them live on the south side of town (four of the seven live in the East triad; the other three live in the Central triad), how do they know what needs the parents and students in that area really have? And even if the parents, teachers and principals felt comfortable enough to bring those issues to board meetings, how do they know they will be heard?”
         Here is one example of how underserved the South Triad is: The school district sent out a survey to all the 2020 graduating class and parents. Here is how many voted: East had 518, Central had 453, South had 231 and Triumph (also in south Cheyenne) had 28. That is 19 percent of the votes.
         With the 2020 elections coming up, three seats are open, and the only hopes of having someone from the South Triad win will be if someone who is well known in the whole community, not just the South Triad, will step up and put up a good fight.
         As we all know with the elections in Wyoming, it’s all about name recognition.

         Gabriel Piña is the owner of Piña Business Services in Cheyenne. He unsuccessfully ran for the Laramie County District 1 Board of Trustees in 2014 and is considering whether to run again for a seat this fall.

As the COVID-19 restrictions continue in Cheyenne, it’s getting harder to avoid the stay-at home blues

BY RICHARD JOHNSON

        I wake up in my panic room, completely emotionally spent of all the dire posts of the outside world. I put my mask on to go to the gas station to get a pack of smokes while I wait for the host of my next Zoom meeting.
        Some tiny girls in short shorts and a cat ears head set laughs at my mask. I'm immuno-compromised and here I am still smoking.
        I touch the door handle with a Clorox wipe. A new episode of “90-Day Fiancé” is on. Some guy tho looks like

Gov. Mark Gordon speaks to protestors on Monday at the Capitol.

the Chet Blob from “Weird Science” mixed with Danzig is showering with his fiancé’s dad. A rat is eating a washcloth next to them. I turn the channel.
        Steve Harvey is getting hit on. I much prefer creepy Richard Dawson from the “Running Man.” Being stuck in the basement is making me feel like that girl in the well from “Silence of the Lambs.”          COVID-19 is my Buffalo Bill. I wish I had Thomas Harris’s writing prowess.
        It's like Day 50-something in my quarantine. Facebook just posted that Jason Hammock from Array developed a telehealth app for Stitches Healthcare. I think that’s pretty cool. I see his wife just got a new gallery; seems they are doing well.
        Array is assisting with making 3D masks, and Melanie is sewing masks. At least everyone is keeping busy while I lurk in a dungeon taking selfies with Wilson the Volleyball. It’s my go-to photo for television interviews and Blue Federal Credit Union Community Advocate Awards.
        Another instant message pops up. A friend from elementary school asks if I can share about a donut place that didn’t get some loan under the new CARES Act. I shared. The next morning there is line in the road of cars.
        Everyone feels good. No one talks about how they’ll survive the next week, but right now we got donuts. I talk to a friend who franchises restaurants. Profits are down 75 percent. We talk about the layoffs. The promotion entities in town won't share their posts because they aren't “local” enough.
        No one knows how franchise agreements work in this town. I watch the line at Panda Express slither as I head to the liquor store for the third time this week. My mask smells of my hot breath. I pick up my beer and talk about 50 percent reduction in sales and SBA qualifications.
        The radio station posts about a new brewery opening postponement while the existing ones get no coverage.
        Another Zoom meeting about our virtual concert series. Forty acts in the same situation we are all in — barely pushing through but playing their hearts out for new listeners who have no place to go. It's bittersweet, but my homies Josh and Mike always have my back.
        A new Facebook notice reversals that the Asher Upstairs is no longer available for events due to seeking more consistent revenue streams. The Lincoln posts photos of their new merch booth. Judge Judy is in the background, white noise as I write up my legislators about impending doom.
        Most of them tell me that with every dollar drop per barrel is a $12 million loss to the state. All of them write me back. Not all were doom-and-gloom responses.
        “Well, my honest belief these efforts to estimate everything from the virus to the financial impacts are people just falling into their human compulsion to control what they cannot. The truth is, we just don't know. These numbers are all just estimates and change as quickly as this happened.
        “Seriously, if we know anything about markets in Wyoming is that they swing wildly, in both directions. Certainly, there will be significant negative impacts, but I think particularly for Wyoming, we will weather it. Look at it through the lens of history and you will see we will be fine. It's going to hurt, but we will be fine.”
        I send her a Little Orphan Annie and Pollyanna GIF.
        Another inbox notification says that The Strip downtown is happening. I’m stoked by an article I wrote last year is going forward.
Sure, it's not like a bike ride in the sunshine, but I ran a red light, so all is good in the world. There were a lot of amazing cars and people were smiling. I guess it was a successful demonstration of solidarity. Just kidding, social distancing was applied, and I didn’t get out of the car.
        As I sit on the couch in a daze, I wonder how I just burned through 130 pages of Grover Cleveland's sexcapades and domestic violence. The press banned from the White House for humiliating the president. 1884 meets the 21st Century.
        Corey texts me the wish list for the week on who we are helping. I copy and paste to my wall. A small commitment to community engagement.
        The empty beer bottle stares at me from a Bacardi coaster from Puerto Rico. Yesterday’s vacation learning about various fruit bats has me sitting in solitude because someone ate a bat.
        The TV flickers with talking heads spewing about liberty, and there are more Confederate flags on display than the Army of Northern Virginia at Gettysburg.
        I’ve began rationing my Ruffles and French onion dip. I finally found Cup O Noodles at the store. The flower bed is full of cigarette butts again since the snow melted. How many tiny bags of Cheez-it’s have I eaten? The new buds on the plant are even getting named. This is Little Squishy.
        Why does Roku feel the need to take over the router like Genghis Khans invading army?
        Watching press conferences is my new hobby, like when I watched the entire French Open when I was 17 years old. The White House Press Room is red clay and 40-love is video clips of Democratic governors singing praises to the Federal government. Its all just balls going over the net.
        My escape is a bike ride to a brewery and drinking crowlers on the curb as I yell at skateboarders to land a trick. They flip me off. I fight a head wind.
        Soon we will all be able to gather around the conference table and raises our glasses to how we survived Rona. We won't have to Zoom into a cocktail parties, kids birthday parties, weddings or funerals. A seven-year-old swings at a pinata with no one around.
        If I wasn’t a lazy turd, I would go down to the Capitol and use my right to peacefully assemble. I'd probably be the guttersnipe that would hold up a sign that said, “As a man you have no right to tell me what I can do with my body!”
        Who am I kidding? I'd probably be the only one wearing a mask and still catch the damn virus. At least I got that one last shout at the governor that he works for me and no one else. Not those pansy lefties who sat at home on the brisk Wyoming day.
        I need a virtual hug.

Richard Johnson is a former City Council member from Cheyenne’s east side.

UW study proves “cure worse than problem” argument is a falsehood. I hope Gordon is listening

          “Governor Gordon: As more and more evidence comes out that the COVID-19 has been highly overplayed, the true threat is being revealed. You took an oath to protect our Constitution and I think that it’s clear that the stay at-home-order is unconstitutional. … Our livelihoods and our civil liberties are at stake. … Please open the state back up and advise those who are most at risk according to the CDC to continue to protect themselves. As President Trump has stated, ‘We cannot let the cure be worse than the problem.’” — A concerned Wyoming citizen

BY D. REED ECKHARDT

As Wyoming enters its second month — has it really only been five weeks? — under Gov. Mark Gordon’s COVID-19 restrictions, the natives are getting restless. Demands from state residents, generally from the political right, are growing for the governor to reopen the state for business.
The above post is from Gordon’s Facebook page, where on Tuesday he announced the first death in Wyoming

Michigan residents clog traffic in protest of stay-at-home orders there.

from the pandemic. A second death, this one from Laramie County, was reported on Wednesday, and the state now has 287 confirmed and 105 suspected cases.
         As the numbers continue to mount, it is past time to put to death the myth that the current “cure” — restrictions on travel, the closing of businesses, bans on public gatherings — is worse than the problem and so it is time to get back to making money.
        Enter a new study from the University of Wyoming. Yes, THE University of Wyoming, the one state residents swear by and from which many graduated. It has just issued a study that devastates the argument about reopening anytime soon.
        What UW economist Linda Thunstrom and her team tried to figure out was: Which is more costly — the impacts of social distancing on the economy or the economic cost of lives lost if those measures were lifted. Her conclusion: The economic benefits of lives saved is greater than than the losses of GDP (gross domestic product) through distancing by $5.2 trillion. Yes, that’s trillions with a “T.”
         Oh, and Thurnstrom’s analysis also indicates that more than 1.2 million lives can be saved through continued social distancing. That would come both in a reduction in the direct deaths related to COVID-19 and by preventing the healthcare system from being overrun.
The economist admits that she herself had doubted the benefits of social distancing vis a vis the economy. Now?
         “Stay home, stay home,” she told the Casper Star-Tribune. “You see the cost. You might lose your job; you might lose your income. You might see local businesses you love really suffering. It’s really easy to imagine: ‘This makes no sense.’ Even if the costs are large, it’s a sensible policy by the best type of analysis that we can make.”
         Of course, those who cast social distancing efforts as a restriction on their rights are not going to accept these facts any more than they have accepted any other expert data up to this point. They will attack the assumptions — and probably the economist and her team as socialist stooges — because that is what they need to do to maintain their denial. To accept that she is correct would force them to reconsider their role as Americans, perhaps seeing themselves less as defenders of their “rights” and more as a members of of a country whose top priority used to be the common good.
         No, the hope here is that while the political right continues to deny facts, Gordon won’t be sucked into the political vortex.
         I have disagreed with the governor’s decision not to put a stay-at-home order in place (https://bit.ly/2xPc69O), and I still do. Especially since he continues to beg Wyomingites to follow his guidelines. Here is a recent Gordon Tweet:
         “Our case numbers continue to rise. All communities — even those with a handful of confirmed cases — must remain diligent with social distancing and stay the course to #SlowTheSpread and make a difference in our future.”
         One might also consider this report from the Star-Tribune Wednesday in which the Natrona County health officer indicates at the Cowboy State has not even begun to flatten its curve. (https://bit.ly/3epiuFB)
         Regardless, what the governor has done is certainly better than nothing. And the fact that top federal health official Dr. Anthony Fauci has praised Gordon’s efforts certainly makes this writer feel better.
The challenge for the governor now will be to stay the course. Right-wingers across the nation are getting louder and louder, and Wyoming is no exception. The pressure on Gordon will be to act, and act now.
         The myths that social distancing is wrecking the economy and rights are being trampled on will only continue to be peddled, particularly by Wyoming’s legislators who have angry constituents to answer to and who also worship at the alter of right-wing politics. And, of course, those who are angry always speak louder than those who are satisfied with current actions. (If you’re interested, the issue of the common good versus those who see “rights” being trampled was discussed in a previous post. (It can be found at https://bit.ly/39oYf75)
         So far, it appears that Gordon is hewing to the course he set for himself. No Trump-like bull manure coming from the governor. Here’s praying he hangs in, even if he makes no effort to toughen things up.
         The UW analysis clearly shows the value of what this nation’s rational leaders are trying to accomplish. May Gordon not fall sway to those who seem so willing to sacrifice the lives of their Wyoming family, friends and neighbors in pursuit of a few dollars more.

         D. Reed Eckhardt is the former executive editor of the Wyoming Tribune Eagle.

COVID-19 has brought an economic apocalypse bearing down on the Capital City and the state

BY RICHARD JOHNSON

     Every fiscal conservative in Wyoming is soiling themselves right now.
     It's not a COVID-19 symptom, but it is ironic that toilet paper is about the only taxable item in Wyoming. We have no grocery tax and the price of oil is so low that even the Attorney General's Office is flooding

The Four Men of the Apocalypse bear down on Cheyenne and Wyoming.

with price gouging complaints. That circulated meme about “gas prices being so low, but I have no place to go” rings true.
     The pestilence horseman has come to Wyoming.

     "So I looked, and behold, a pale horse. And the name of him who sat on it was Death, and Hell followed with him.” Revelations 6:8

     Sure, I could be quoting "Tombstone" or Revelations (take your pick), but this is just another one-two punch at Wyoming's fragile economy. You know things are bleak when the Consensus Revenue Estimating Group (CREG) report is delayed. Economic projections are so low that they keep kicking the release can down the proverbial road.
     When unofficial results say the city of Cheyenne alone is facing a $14 million shortfall, it's going to take more than a state income tax and legalized marijuana to get this rider back on the horse.
     I can focus on Cheyenne, but this is a worldwide crisis. The stock market blows around like a Wyoming windsock, and no one really knows what's going on with this disease. Some think it's the apocalypse, and others think it’s a hoax.
     The unemployment in the first few weeks of this pandemic displays how dire this situation is and why political leaders are freaking out. No people working, no people purchasing, no revenue coming in, all things on the table.
     For those who get to keep their job, they will most likely lose their pension, 100 percent  contributions to their health care and most likely reduction in hours, forever. The part-time employees will go first before people start looking around the office at the seniority ladder. And there will be pay cuts, no doubt about it. Vacation? Forget about that!
     So what does a slashed $40 million annual budget look like? It looks a lot like longer turnaround time for permits, all recreational activities suspended, roads not getting fixed and government working even slower than before.
     Wyoming preaches small government until that 20 percent staff reductions have them in line for hours. With no state senator to call, they will likely jump on a conservative blog and vent about how inefficient government is and pontificate about how all will be right with the world if we elect the next conservative candidate.
     A silver lining to this plague is that, at least now, the average clerk down at City Hall can tell the line screamer to step back six feet.
     Ben Franklin said that the only certainty in life is death and taxes. Sadly, he wasn't thinking about crime. Crime is definitely a future certainty. Property theft, automobile break-ins and burglary are going to up faster than "no toilet paper" signs at the supermarket.
     For those of us who hoped warm weather would kill Rona, we will probably be disappointed as numbers of infected homies continue to increase. I'm not looking forward to the Plaza on walkie talkies saying, “Three people left, let three more in. That's it, cap is 50.”
     The fear of contamination will still be in the communal mindset, and any kind of event will take catastrophic losses.
     My health professional friends tell me there will be three months to normalcy, but my pessimistic crystal ball says three years. Instead of #weareinthistogether, I'm more of the mindset of #wereallscrewed. I guess I'll go back to posting Tiger King memes, senior photos, prom pictures, ab workouts and pushup challenges.

Richard Johnson is a former City Council from Ward 3 on Cheyenne’s east side.

Cheyenne native Brandt Tobler uses comedy to add a little light to the world in these troubled times

BY MIKE MORRIS
     
     It's 9:15 on a Wednesday night and Brandt Tobler is sitting in front of a camera. Dressed as Elvis. Singing Tracey Chapman.
     The video description on the Cheyenne-native comedian's Facebook Live stream simply reads "HEY BABY let's party!" with a call-in number below.
     What ensues next is a nearly three-hour marathon of uncontrolled mayhem and amusement that, for a fleeting moment,

Cheyenne native Brant Tobler is a comedian who lives in Denver. 

completely suspends the unfathomably heavy reality that we are all living through. The one that still feels like a horrible nightmare each morning when we open our eyes and sit up in bed, until it all sets in again.
     Right now, that's all distant trepidation.
     Comedians from all over the country call in. Tobler discusses the chemical properties and upsides of the medical application of Mad Dog 20/20 ("I've seen that shit permanently stain driveways. It fixed my molar!"). He trash talks a Patriots fan ("Oh yeah, you guys had a nice little run there for like a year or two. Don't make me hang up on you"). He makes inside jokes about Cheyenne (birthday parties at Roller City) and prefaces an ’80s pop song by proclaiming that it was written by Brandt's favorite music teacher at Deming-Miller (Grizzlies, represent!).
     At one point, a Los Angeles stand-up comedian who Tobler is friends with calls in and remarks on his ridiculous attire.
     "You're right. What kind of an asshole puts on an Elvis costume during a pandemic tragedy?" Tobler chides himself.
     "One who has been doing this for a long time," she laughs back.
     "For me, personally, laughter has gotten me through the toughest times in life," Tobler tells me during a phone interview earlier in the night. "I know there are people going through some really, really tough times and I just hope those couple of minutes of laughter can help take their minds off of it."
     Tobler really would rather not be doing this right now. He would rather be performing on stage at a comedy club. Or watching someone else perform. Or dining out in Denver with his girlfriend. Or spending time, actually in person, with his friends and loved ones.
     Just like all of us.
     "I just miss it so much," he pines. "I miss performing like crazy. I crave it. But what are you gonna do?"
     He carries on the comedian's role of keeping spirits lifted when things are bleak, although he, too, has had to grin and bear several big cancellations of shows that affect his livelihood and income.
Tobler was geeked about playing a sold-out gig at the Cheyenne Frontier Days Event Center that would have been held on March 26 in front of boatloads of friends, some of whom had still never seen him perform. But the world changed and so did his performing schedule.
     "At the time, I was disappointed," he tells me. "I was bringing some great comedians from Denver up with me and coming home to perform in Cheyenne is so special to me. Those shows are my favorite. But, knowing what we know now, it was the right call. There was just no way we could go through with it."
     Tobler is Cheyenne through and through (he reps a “Surf Wyo” shirt with his Elvis getup), so there's no doubt it comes from the heart when he says it was painful to cancel. He spent a large portion of his adult life in Las Vegas and Los Angeles and performing in entertainment capitals of the world. But he never once forgot about his hometown.
     "People out there thought it was crazy I saw a buffalo every day in my childhood," he laughs. "We had buffaloes and elk in Lions Park four blocks from my house. Who grows up around that? That's the kind of stuff people in those bigger cities love hearing about. It's just Cheyenne stuff."
     Now, with social distancing shaking up so many of the ways we seek out the diversion and levity we need, Tobler hopes he can continue to entertain his hometown in other ways. His book, “Free Roll,” is a hot item for reading while self-quarantining as he's filling bunches of orders from fans and friends.
     If you're new to Tobler, it's a hilarious read, and he's willing to give special treatment to anyone who orders it from him directly ("I'll autograph it, personalize it, you name it. Jjust email me and you'll get it in the mail").
     He's also taking his podcast — “The 31 — to new heights.
     "All of my famous friends always tell me they're too busy to come on. Now they have no excuse because we both know they'd be lying," he laughs, noting that comedian and actor Brad Garrett was on last week.
     He's also got Facebook content (“Mr. Tobler's Neighborhood” and his off-the-wall Live sessions) if you still need to get your fill.
     "I'm still working really hard," he says. "My girlfriend and I go out for walks, but she's tired of hearing my dumb jokes. So I do the podcast every day and it's keeping me creative. People are going to want and need comedy, now more than ever."
     On the same day that Tobler goes live on Facebook, the death toll of COVID-19 in the United States approaches 15,000, all in the last six weeks. Roughly 10 percent of the U.S. workforce is now unemployed. Jobs and lives all over the world have been — and continue to be — turned upside down. We're isolated from our friends, our families.
     Every trip to a grocery store is filled with apprehension. Some of us are flinching like we're getting out of the way of an oncoming bus wired to explode if it goes under 50 — just because we accidentally acted on the impulse to scratch our noses.
     It's a terribly difficult time right now, and it's hard to get away from it. We're stuck in our homes, social media timelines are depressing, we've already streamed too many shows, sports are canceled (now we'll never know if Hofstra could have won it all). And — on a much, much more real note — some of us are being directly and seriously impacted by this. And, if not, many of us know someone who is.
     So, Tobler — gigless for the foreseeable future — digs a bit deeper to keep laughing, even when it hurts."I don't have shit to do tomorrow, probably not for the rest of my life. So I'm just going to hang out with my friends," he quips, extending the Facebook Live session long into the night.
     That means playing DJ for the rest of the evening with the caveat that he'll only play 20-second clips of the songs, ever conscious of music copyright laws. This results in Tobler hilariously — and repeatedly — getting interrupted by YouTube ads while trying to pull up the next song ("They just keep coming and coming.  Damn it!").
     It's a steady flow of Notorious B.I.G., Salt-N-Pepa, Warren G, Tupac, TLC, Blink 182, Chingy,  2 Live Crew (no, really), Limp Bizkit (no, really — "I used to watch TRL every single day, for like 40 weeks in a row, to get this song to  No. 1"), Ram Jam. It just gets better and better as the night gets later and later ("The kids are all asleep, we can say lots of bad words, you guys. You can even say the F-word!").
     "I'm just here for the Kenny Loggins," one friend writes in the comments.
     "I used to listen to (Loggins) when I would run stairs at Frontier Park in the middle of the night when I was 24," Tobler replies. "I was training for the NBA. That shit got me pumped!"
     It's all over the place and it goes on and on. And people keep watching. I keep watching. Because it's a riot, a deluge of mindless fun. And it's what I need right now. My knuckles are bleeding from washing my hands so often and my nerves have been shot for an entire month so, yes, watching a bearded man in an Elvis getup, in front of a static backdrop, turn nonsense into nonstop comedy is quite welcomed.
     2020 actually hasn't been a bad year for Tobler. He's continued to push his career forward.
     "Technically, I was the last headliner at Comedy Works if they never open again," he laughs, referring to the beloved Denver club. "I was supposed to host that weekend and Bobby Lee canceled, so they asked me if I could just headline all four shows. It was something I always dreamed of doing, having a full weekend at Comedy Works."
     He also opened for Tom Segura at the beginning of March. And even though his performing schedule has stalled — he was sometimes performing four or five times a week before things changed — and he's not performing on a stage ("I'm still writing jokes, but I can't perform them, so I don't know if they're good or if they suck"), he's still staying finding ways to stay positive.
     "During this time, I'm getting a lot of emails that are like, 'Hey, the podcast is really helping me and keeping me going. It's taking my mind off things and giving me a chance to away from all the craziness happening around us,” he says. "That's the best part of being a comedian."
     "It'll come back, we'll get through this," he adds,  noting that he's optimistic his Cheyenne show will be rescheduled when it is safe again. "That's just part of being a comedian. There are so many ups and downs. But it's really not even a job for me. It's just something I truly love to do."
     It's two and a half hours into the stream now. The sunglasses haven't come off and the grin is perma-stuck on his face. There's no telling how stupidly hot it is under the Elvis hat and headphones. The energy never wanes.
     Tobler's looking skyward and he is ether, grooving to Whitney Houston like he's basked in the neon glow of the Cadillac Ranch dance floor. Ginuwine’s "Pony" comes on next and now he's ribbiting like a frog.
     At this point, I really don't even know what in the hell is going on anymore. And  in spite of the fact that I would never tune in for a Facebook Live session the length of Titanic under any other circumstances, it's great.
     Everyone is having a blast, Tobler's just ad-libbing and goofing around, and it's Coors Light in a plastic cup at 11:35 in the beer tent at Frontier Days, where it tastes like top-shelf Cristal. It's Joe Glenn playing "Ragtime Cowboy Joe" on the piano circa 2004. It's CB Potts, it's Cupid's, it's the Capital Lumber jingle.
     I don't really know what I'm trying to say, but its this intangible, familiar, scattershot randomness you never knew you missed joking about. But, in the year 2020, you certainly do.
And that's why the whole virtual room, everyone who comes and goes, is raising their drinks and thanking Tobler for helping life feel normal, for helping them find something — anything — to congregate and laugh about again.
     "It's just a huge group of friends laughing and making jokes," he says, noting that as crazy as this new world we're living in may be, "It's just like hanging out again,  just in separate cities all over the country. That's kind of what everyone needs right now.
     "Humor is just important, man. When my stupid jokes help people take their minds off something heavy and painful, it's the best part of this job. Whether it's through me or someone else, I hope people in Cheyenne, in Wyoming, everywhere can find some laughter.
     “And, when it's finally over, be ready to come back out to a show. Because there will be a lot more laughs waiting."
     Tomorrow we'll all wake up feeling the same ashen grogginess, to the same cruel reality that we have been living in. But perhaps we'll do so each day with a sliver more hope because our social distancing efforts, together, are helping reduce the spread of this virus, maybe even more effectively than what was first projected.
     It's a long road yet, but our sacrifices, together, are hopefully inching us closer to some sense of normalcy. Because, even in this somber isolation, we're getting through this together.
     And those of us who were on that Facebook Live stream — together — we'll also all wake up feeling a little lighter. Because we spent nonsensical hours laughing our asses off, together, with the great Brandt Tobler as our sensei of ’90s club bangers.
     HEY BABY let's party, indeed.

     Mike Morris describes himself as guy you might see walking around Cheyenne in pink pants. He, too, is a Deming-Miller alum.

     (NOTE: Brandt Tobler is a standup comedian from Cheyenne who lives in Denver. If you are interested in purchasing his book, “Free Roll,” you can email him at brandt@brandttobler.com or message his Facebook page to receive an autographed, personalized copy.) 

Mother Governor, would you please act so we can be safe while COVID-19 rips through Wyoming?

“That’s essentially what a stay-at-home order is. Are you waiting for ‘Mother may I? Or are you taking care of yourself and practicing the common sense we expect?” — Wyoming Gov. Mark Gordon at a Friday news conference to discuss his COVID-19 policies.

BY D. REED ECKHARDT

            It’s unclear why Gov. Mark Gordon continues to defend his refusal to put a stay-at-home order in place in the Cowboy State. But what is clear is that he is putting Wyomingites’ lives in jeopardy by refusing to do so.

            If his snippy comment quoted above is any indicator, he still does not understand why hundreds, maybe thousands, of Cowboy State residents are demanding that he take the necessary action of closing down the state. 

So let me explain, Mr. Governor.

            Those of us who want a stay-at-home order are not those who continue to run Wyoming’s streets and continue to expose

Wyoming’s COVID-19 hotspots. As of Sunday, the case total was 200.

themselves and others to the deadly COVID-19 virus. We don’t need to say “Mother may I?” because we already are staying at home, going out only to buy essential foods and to perform essential functions. We understand, and appreciate, your previous orders and are obeying them. We just don’t find them adequate.

            What we are worried about, Mr. Governor, is stopping the spread of this virus so that our healthcare workers can stay healthy, so that are our elderly residents can feel safe and so that we can prevent as many deaths of our friends, families and neighbors as possible.

            What all of us have learned in recent days is that this disease spreads unbelievably easily, and that it can be shared with others without those who are infected even knowing it. 
            That even includes casual conversations among friends and family, if they have the virus and get to close to one another. They can be sick and not even know it, in the meantime spreading it on every surface that they touch. They can carry it into grocery stores and gas stations and workplaces and medical facilities. Witness the assisted living center in Lander that has become a Wyoming hot spot for this disease.

            Mr. Governor, what we are asking for is not permission to stay home. We are asking that you take action, every action, to make certain that COVID-19 doesn’t come in our front doors as we hunker down. Right now, you are not doing everything possible to protect us and our elderly parents and grandparents, and that simply is not acceptable. 

It also is not acceptable, by the way, for you to mock those of us who continue to speak up about your lack of action. You work for us, not the other way around.

            Last week during your news conference, you said, “One of our Wyoming values is to talk less and say more. Our Wyoming orders talk less and say more.”

            Indeed they do. What they say is that while their governor is asking Wyomingites to stay home, his request is not so serious that he will act to enforce it. It also says that there is something — no one is certain what it is outside of the Governor’s Office — that is more important than taking the toughest action possible to protect residents’ lives. Red State politics? Fear of not being re-elected? Bowing before the altar of the economy? Only you know, Mr. Governor, and you are not saying.

            Regardless, your lack of a firm, enforceable order says it is OK for people who think this is no more serious than an cold or the regular flu to go about their daily lives and endanger others. And they are doing so, slowing the flattening of the curve and eventually putting greater pressure on the state’s healthcare system. (Fact check: COVID-19 is at least 10 times more deadly than the standard flu and much more contagious).           

Yes, Mr. Governor, you make it clear that you don’t think other states’ stay-at-home orders are any more powerful than your current orders. But their loopholes — if there are loopholes, a point I am not conceding — are no excuse for your inaction.

Rather than complaining about how weak their orders are, how about creating the firmest one that can be fashioned, putting it in place and enforcing it? THAT will tell the world how serious you are. And perhaps Wyoming can set a standard for fighting the virus.

Mr. Governor, I know you have seen the chart (https://bit.ly/3bH0fsT). It indicates that you either can act to dampen the effects of COVID-19 or turn it loose to create

greater havoc both in terms of death and in the negative impacts upon the state’s healthcare system.

The potential number of deaths range from 74 to 271. What number do you find acceptable? And how do you explain to your family, friends and neighbors why their son, daughter, mother, father or grandparent died when, perhaps, the virus that caught them could have been avoided by better controlling its spread?

As they say out on the ranches of our great state: It’s nut-cutting time. Your actions now will — or won’t — save lives. So, Mother Governor, may my friends, family and I please feel safer and know that COVID-19 won’t come knocking at our door?

D. Reed Eckhardt is the former executive editor of the Wyoming Tribune Eagle.